Annalee Rae's birth story.

Okay.. listen... this blog is totally something I made in High School and has not been updated. I get it. I don't fit in with the world of blogging. I just post on here when something really big happens to me and I have to share it with everyone. If anybody wants to update my blog for me... be my guest. haha

I wasn't sure where to start with Annalee's birth story. I just needed to get it written down.  I have made more of an effort to attend the temple and have thought about Eve SO many times since becoming a mother and just needed to share some thoughts with whoever cares to read them. I wrote most of this about two months after Annalee was born but I never published it. I am finally coming back to it and am ready to share. I decided that I would get personal and share about the baby before her. I have found it comforting to know that I am not alone in things and therefore wanted share this little part of our family story in hopes that it can help someone else out too. As I have come across different trials in my life, I have learned that there is a reason for everything and that everything works out. I hope that through my experience you can gain a small testimony of that too.

Okay, so the beginning of this story is actually at my cardiologists office. Somehow that's where most of my life decisions are made haha. Andrew and I had been married for a year and decided that it was time we wanted to have a baby. Of course we wanted to make sure that my heart was up to it and sure enough it was. That was the first of many major blessings. We got pregnant really fast and were super excited. We laughed thinking that Heavenly Father must have really wanted us to have a baby because it happened so quick. I remember praying and just being so grateful that we didn't have issues getting pregnant and I felt so loved and blessed.

When we went in for the first appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine (A specialist I was directed to because of my heart) they did an ultrasound and told us that the baby was either too little or that it was a blighted ovum and that we would miscarry. I was totally shocked and shattered. We went and did some labs and waited two of the longest days of my life and the nurse called and told us that my HCG levels had decreased and that we had miscarried. I was upset. Andrew was upset. I felt like Heavenly Father had given us something so special and I was so grateful that after everything else I had been through that something just came easy and it felt like such a blessing. I was angry for a while because I had been praying.. saying thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart and it felt like it was just ripped away from me. I tried to keep praying but in all honesty it was difficult. I am so grateful for my sweet husband who notices what I need and jumps right in. We have made an effort to say our prayers together every night since the day we were married. We usually take turns but when it was my turn and I just sat there.. empty.. shocked.. confused..  he jumped right in and started praying. I am so grateful for his example and love. I knew we would pull through and I knew we were going to have a baby. I was just so lost.

A month later we got another positive pregnancy test. I was totally shocked again that it had happened so fast. I worked in an OBGYN's clinic and had seen the many couples who came in and did everything they could to have a baby and have no success, so I was feeling very humbled and blessed that it came so quickly for us. I was still extremely nervous. When we went into our appointment everything was fine! I still don't quite understand why it happened the way it did, but holding my sweet baby that I have now made me realize that I needed to have THIS baby here at THIS time. I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and that things happen for a reason. Through trials we are blessed. We are able to grow on a level with others because we have been through things with them. If I had not had that trial I would not understand the loss that others feel and maybe I wouldn't feel as humbled or grateful.

Okay now the fun stuff!!
Appointments went fast. I saw sooooo many doctors. Between the two different OBGYNs that I saw, the Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctors, My cardiologist, and the Pediatric Cardiologist, we had appointments all the time. At about 20 weeks we went down to Primary Children's Medical Center where they did an echo on my heart and then a fetal echo on the baby's heart. I was nervous but I had this recurring feeling of peace when I thought about her heart. I wanted her to be okay, but I also felt like she would be tough enough to handle it. We were so blessed when the doctor told us that everything looked good with my heart and with her heart. Blessings all around people. Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be happy.

The rest of pregnancy was rough! I love the babies but being pregnant was hard for me. I wanted to play and do things that I had to wait on and that was a struggle for me! Luckily I was still able to go to the gym and attend Zumba and exercise until about the week before I delivered. Blessings on blessings on blessings.

I had been going to my check ups and we found out that I had high blood pressure. We watched it for a couple of days but it didn't go down. I went into my office at work and checked it and it was pretty high so I called the doc in Idaho Falls who would be delivering me and he said, "Get your bags and meet me at the hospital." Stressssssss, I was 38 weeks to the day and was not expecting to have a baby for another week! And I sure as heck didn't wake up that day expecting to have her. Pre-eclampsia was not on my mind either.

I called Andrew at work and told him that we were having a baby. He laughed at me and I had to patiently explain that I really was heading to the hospital. I met him at his work and we drove together. I felt calm. Which was surprising because the night before I was having a total meltdown. Once again my mom came to the rescue as she followed us down Hitt road and got out at the stoplight to give me a yogurt. My in tune mother comes to the rescue again. Oh how I love and need her.

It was 12:40 pm when we got to the hospital and I had gone from 1 cm to 3 cm in just one day and was already having contractions. I didn't really know I was having contractions so that was just another blessing. By 3:00 pm Dr. Denson came in and broke my water. By 5:00 pm I had the epidural. Guys... I would spend every last penny that Andrew has on an epidural. It was heaven compared to contractions. Things progressed quickly and by 11:30 pm I started pushing. If I ever thought I had experienced hunger before (my friends and family know that I don't cope well when hunger hits) I was wrong because I was STARVING. It was all I could think about. I was so mad about how hungry I was haha.  An hour and a half later the Doc came in and I gave one push and out came this tiny, beautiful, perfect girl. He laid her on my belly and I sobbed. I cant even describe the feeling that I had. I was instantly changed. Down to my very core, I was changed. I have had few moments in my life where I felt the spirit so strong that I might as well be in Heaven... and this one trumps them all.

She was perfect. I shook uncontrollably for over an hour I'm sure. I was in shock. We have been so blessed. The other day I had a time hop from my surgery pop up on my Facebook. If that is what I had to go through to have this sweet perfect girl, I'd do it a million times over. I am so grateful for her. She is the greatest thing I have ever done in this life. Next to marrying my amazing and supportive husband and becoming a bonus mom to my sweet boy, Carson.  Andrew is an incredible dad but I already knew that. Carson is such a good big brother and is so helpful. They take good care of us. I love my rapidly growing family.

God is in the details of our lives. He wants us to be happy. Since having Annalee, I have felt connected to Eve in a way. When Eve had partaken of the forbidden fruit in the garden, she asked Adam if they intended to obey ALL of God's commands. She knew that she would have to go through mortal life with good and evil, joy and sorrow, but she did it because she wanted to obey God and she wanted to become a mother. THAT is how special it is. I am so grateful for this opportunity and am excited to see my children grow!